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The Invite

Late for another do, he sat in his rickety car. Wall facing, he thought: "When you gather cut foliage and chunks of soil and you dump it on a large pile, the foliage creates the pile, the soil disappears while it falls through the gaps." He continued his thought: "The disappointment of arriving at a time in my adult life and realising that the same things inform my decisions, my conversations and my thinking self. Class, gender and money. These are the disappointments. These are the permanent things. The permanent pillars that are invisible when we build ourselves in early life. Amongst every block of myself that I made, one or all of these pillars were there. They just fell a little deeper. It is disappointing because it is so predictable. It is disappointing because an effort outside of these pillars is a waste of time. It is disappointing because it feels innate. It is not purely from external constructs, external pressure, external expectations. It is innate. It was invisible. No! It was unseen. Meanwhile, in its invisibility, it was creating fertile bedrocks inside oneself getting ready for the big choices,that will be based on those pillars. Disappointing me so." He heard a knock on his passenger window.
"Yes?"
"You're blocking my driveway. Come in for tea and we can talk about it." He smiled and accepted the invitation.